The Nutcase and The Adonis
by Joe Dempsie ruined my life
Summary: It's the morning after the night before and Rae thinks that it may not have been a good idea after all. Rae x Finn.


**_Also known as The Nutcase and The Sexgod on tumblr._**

She didn't mean to sleep with him, honestly she didn't but they had been lying on his bed watching a movie, she had gone over to keep him company whilst his parents were at a wedding and he ended up kissing her. Even a straight guy wouldn't say no to kissing the sexgod that is Finn. One thing led to another and she ended up losing her virginity to him. It had been perfect, he had been so patient and kind and Rae just wished the night had never ended.  
However, in the light of the day, Rae was able to see that it was stupid of her to let it happen. Chloe was surely going to hate her when she found out, she didn't even known that Rae was practically in love with Finn, she was just going to assume that she did it just to annoy her. Rae knew that everybody would hate her for doing it. They'd kick her out of the group, she just knew it. She felt ill at the thought of being alone again. All those emotions of self-doubt and hatred came rushing back. As much as she fought it, she could feel a panic attack coming on. Her overwhelming negative thoughts were cutting off her air supply. She gasped for air in hope of some relief but it gave no help. Her racing heart and lack of air made her feel like death. She could feel the tears sting at the corner of her eyes and she knew she had to get out of the bed before she woke Finn.

She slipped out of the bed and walked as fast as she could into the bathroom without looking back at Finn, who was now sprawled across the double bed. She shut the door and sat down on the cold tiles. She finally allowed the tears to fall and the gasps for air became more desperate.  
"Fucking hell! Get it together" she cursed herself. She was trying to keep quiet as she could as she didn't want Finn to hear her pathetic breakdown, he couldn't know that she was broken.

Minutes had passed and she was still a mess; nothing was helping. She really needed Tix right now but she still wasn't talking to her. Rae had never felt so sorry in her entire life but she refused to accept her apology and it tore her up more than anyone one would ever know. Her only real best friend didn't even like her anymore. Everyone would soon follow in Tix's footsteps once they found out about last night; she just knew they would all leave her eventually.  
As her thoughts became more and more negative she became more inconsolable and her cries more audible, she hadn't even realised how loud she had gotten until she heard a knock on the door soon followed by Finns voice saying "Are you alright Rae? Can I come in?" Finn being Finn meant that he didn't even wait for her response; he just opened the door and stumbled down to floor where she was.

He wrapped his arms around her and began to reassure her. Feeling his skin on hers made her feel even more nervous though, he was the only one who really liked her for who she was and yet he didn't even know who she really was. In reality, she wasn't a normal teenager, she was a nutcase who couldn't control her emotions and just ruined everything that she came in contact with. It was only a matter of time before he, along with everyone else realised that.  
He deserved better, so much better. He deserved Chloe; she was a beautiful girl who he could show off to the world without shame. He could never do that with her and she had to accept that.

"Babe, please tell me what's wrong" he pleaded. The bathroom was silent except for her sniffles and gasps for air that she was trying to catch before she began to speak.  
"This was a mistake" she announced. Rae could have sworn she felt the worst she had ever felt before she said that, but the look of pain on his face after she said it made her feel a whole kind of new pain. A pain she never wanted to experience again.  
"What do you mean? I thought we had a good time Rae?"  
"Oh no, I did! I did have a good time Finn! You were incredible and it was a perfect first time but what is everybody else going to say? Chloe is going to be so annoyed at me, she really likes you Finn and I've just gone and slept with you! What am I meant to do though? I'm fucking in love with you and have wanted this for the longest time and now-''  
"You're in love with me?" he said cutting across what she was saying.  
"Ehh…no. I never said that!" Oh shit! Had she really said that aloud? Now he was definitely going to leave her, she had definitely scared him off with that one. She had no hope.  
That was when a smile broke out on his face  
"Oh I think you did Rachael Earl. There's no escaping it now, it's ok though, because I'm in love with you too and I don't fucking care about what anybody else thinks because you are incredible. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen and I just want to be with you." He stopped talking for a moment and then he began again. "I'm fed up of all of these games babe; I want to be able to hold your hand in public. I want to be able to be with you, as your boyfriend in public. Fucking hell Rae, just be my girlfriend because I honestly can't picture myself with anybody else and I can't just let you slip through my fingers. We can sort Chloe out afterwards, she'll be upset but she's our friend, she will understand. Just please Rae, don't say this was a mistake because it was the best night of my life and I don't know how I will go on if it's our last night together."  
She just stared at him in disbelief and she wanted to reply but Jesus fucking Christ, the bloke of her dreams had just confessed his love for her so of course she was a little speechless. She knew she needed to respond but there was a lack of coherent words in her brain right now so she just kissed him. He seemed to be happy with that response.

It was amazing how he had that effect on her, one fucking monologue from him confessing his undying love and she was cured of all anxieties. One little smile and three little words had more power over her than she would ever have over herself. It was ridiculous but she wouldn't change it for the world.  
"Come on then babe it's the crack of fucking dawn, let's go back to bed" He said to her as he stood up and offered her his hand. She took it and pulled herself up to her feet. They walked hand in hand back to his room and they both resumed their places in his bed.  
Just as she was about to fall asleep Rae spoke again.  
"Hey Finn?"  
"Yeah Rae?"  
"I love you"  
"I love you too Rae"


End file.
